approaching 30

February 10, 2026

this year, I will turn 30


looking back to the past 10 years, I've experienced a lot of things and most of them were neatly documented in my A6/A5 notebooks which were changed at least every semester.

I don't have a lot of things written in this page (anymore) somehow, but I still recorded things using words, just like the old times (just a little less cringe now).

tonight, I kinda want to highlight all things worth mentioning in the last decade to get myself spirited up welcoming my 30s.

first, I got a boyfriend! for the first time in forever. though it didn't last and made me awfully broken-hearted, it was still worth remembering as the most valuable lesson in my life (yes, it ended up being just a "lesson" instead of companion). I am okay now, but at some point in my life, I was so d*mn miserable and hating everything. just glad it was over: the relationship and its after-effects.

second, I am finally working with an NGO! working comfortably without compensating my own value, something I dreamed of for years. it might not be so well-paid now since I am just getting started, but I am optimistic that if I focus on contributing the best to the organisation, my effort will be recognized later. for now, I will be focusing on upgrading myself and do the best I can do for the entity.

third, I finished my master's with 3.94 GPA and will publish a paper from my thesis (I still can't believe it, considering how difficult my thesis topic and method were).

fourth, I forgave everything happened in my life and everyone involved in it, all of it. I released all the hatred and burden, freeing myself from the ugly emotions. I also apologized for all the hurts I've caused, I wish it can (somehow) lessen my sin and contribute to my good deeds.

well, I think that's all I can remember for now.

I wish in my 30s, I can be a better person, for my parents and siblings, for my friends, for the organization I am working with. I wish in 1 or 2 years I can meet my soulmate and start a family, a safe space to do whatever we dreamed of, to emphasize our values, and to realize our vision. I wish I still could hold tight to my core values and integrity.

thank you, 20s, you've been so nice to me.

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